I Love To See The Temple…

I remember vividly when I was a little girl feeling a little sad when I would sing “I Love to See the Temple.”  That may sound terrible, but I have my reasoning.  I felt so sad that I couldn’t go in.  I didn’t fully understand why you had to be 12 years old.  I was my aunts flower girl when I was 7 and I was so sad I couldn’t witness it.  I mean, I had my own beautiful white dress on that day. I was supposed to hold the back of her dress, why could I go in to help her?  It was the longest wait in that child’s room.  Then the moment happened I’ll never forget.  She walked out of that temple, with the biggest grin on her face.  She didn’t just look happy, she was rejoicing.  She was sealed for time and all eternity and she had kept the promises she made to her future husband and Father in Heaven to be pure.  I knew in that moment that I would do anything to go someday.  To be worthy to always have a temple recommend and go to the House of the Lord.

I’m now 20, and have had 8 beautiful years of being able to perform Baptisms for the Dead.  What an amazing and breathtaking experience it is each time I go.  There is nothing greater than being away from the world and the temptations and tauntings of satan.  I now go every week with my amazing, spiritual, and lovely best friend Samantha Frisby.  The difference it’s made in my life is indescribable. 

I have such a strong testimony of going frequently.  This world has become so wicked with evil all around.  The temple is necessary to putting on the armor of God and withstanding the evils of the world.  One reason my testimony has grown so much is the fact that there has been a time in my life where I didn’t go for a long time.  Last year I went through a really horrible experience where my heart was left very broken.  I was sad all the time.  Satan doesn’t use the typical thoughts to make me feel bad about myself.  I’ve always been a perfectionist (I know…I’m not proud of it) and satan loves to make me feel like everything I do is not enough.  He doesn’t try to make me do stupid things, because quite frankly it doesn’t work with me.  But he attacks me with feeling like if I’m not perfect I’m not worthy to be what I should be.  (I hate satan. ugh)  So when I was going through this really hard time I had a lot of hateful feelings, sadness, and grief.  I didn’t feel like it was right for me to go to the temple with these feelings.  THIS COULD NOT BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH.  The temple is where I should be to feel close to my Father and to have the Atonement of Christ seep into my heart and heal me.  My healing process went much slower due to not being in the temple.  Even thought I wish that I had done better, I am grateful to know for myself the difference of going weekly and then not going at all.  I’m a completely different person when I go.  It’s in the walls of the House of the Lord that I feel the best about myself.  It’s where I’m reminded through the Holy Ghost that my Father in Heaven is proud of me, and I’m a wonderful person.  It’s in these walls that I feel love that I didn’t know existed.  And it’s in these walls where I feel my potential and purpose as a daughter in His kingdom.

If you haven’t gone to the temple in a while GO.  If you don’t go often, I encourage you to go weekly or at LEAST monthly.  If you aren’t able to hold a current temple recommend because of events that have happened in your life, DO EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN to return as soon as possible.  Heavenly Father loves all His children, and He wants you in His home.  He has amazing things to reveal to you, and He loves you.  Nothing will bring greater joy than the blessings of the temple.  Our Heavenly Father is a God of mercy and there IS a way back, it may be hard, but it will also be a beautiful, personal, and worthwhile experience.

Now, just like when I was a child I’m feeling eager to do more in the temple.  Yet, I still have to wait until I go on a mission or find the man of my dreams!  I can’t wait until that sacred and beautiful day when I get to go through the temple.  But, until then I will do everything in my power to stay worthy.  I want to be that beautiful bride rejoicing that I am sealed for time and all Eternity to my sweetheart and beautiful children.  (I already love them so much )

I Love to See the Temple

I’m going There Someday

To Feel the Holy Spirit

To Listen and to Pray

For the Temple is a House of God

A place of Love and Beauty

I’ll PREPARE myself while I am young

THIS IS MY SACRED DUTY.

I know the Temple is the House of the Lord.  It is vital to our happiness, success, and purpose in this beautiful life.  I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

And Yet…Life Changes Again…

Remember when you were 5 and your mom asked you what you were going to be when you grew up?  “Oh mom, don’t you know that all there is to this life is being a mom.  Sam and Emily (my twin baby dolls) would be lost without me.” 

Then you got to age 10.  “I’m going to be a teacher, I just love kids there would be nothing better.”

Age 13.  “I’m going to be a famous actress on Broadway, I’ll sing and perform it’s the greatest joy in life.  I can make it.”

Here’s Sweet 16.  “I’m going to be a cosmetologist.  Doing hair and makeup all day to make people beautiful, what a life!”

The big 1-8.  “I’m going to be a newscaster and be on “Good Things Utah”  I would love to work with other women and share the joys the world has to offer.”

Here I am age 19.  As I look back and see the dreams of my youth I realize something.  Life is not what you plan.  It’s not meant to be on your terms.  I see these aspirations and smile because I know I could do any of them with the talents God has blessed  me with.  If I’m doing something Heavenly Father wouldn’t want me to do though…life wouldn’t be worth living.

Life has thrown me a curveball.  A week ago I was a student at UVU and living at Ventana apartments.  Today I’m withdrawn from school and moved back home because I’m sick.  I though I might as well get it out there, I’ve always hated the whole whisper situation, “wait what’s Julia up to these days?”  So yes world I’m not doing the best physically BUT I’m on the road for healing.  I’m not a college “dropout”, I didn’t give up, I just tried to be as brave as I possibly could.  I did something that was completely against any plan I had for myself.  I was always going to be that girl that faced the world with the attitude that I’m going to conquer anything that comes my way.  I’ve been given a big wake up call.  No one is perfect, and sometimes the brave thing to do is realize that I need help.

So what to do?  My life is now something I never imagined for myself.  I’m going to make the most out of this healing experience.  I’m going to try to do the things I couldn’t do if I were crazed and busy in school.  I plan to have sewing projects, learn at least 3 new recipes each week, I hope to be in a play, I’m going to actually practice for long periods of time on my voice, I’m going to make cards and deliver them to people I love, I’m going to work full time and save up for BYU.  Yes, I’m working to be a cougar!  I’ve missed me.  I hope to get me back not just physically but mentally and spiritually.  I know this list may seem like something a “sick person” shouldn’t do, or if you’re doing this why can’t you go to school?  Well you see, these are events that I can do without a lot of physical strain and on the days where I’m not doing really great I don’t HAVE to do something. 

Heavenly Father isn’t ashamed in me, so why should I be ashamed in myself?  I’m not, and if anyone is well that’s just energy they shouldn’t be spending.  I hope through this time in my life I prepare myself to be the best daughter, student, and wife and mother.  The more I grow up, the more I learn this principle.  We are to be like little children.  When I was 5 I picked the greatest career I could ever have.  A mother.  If I had my way I’d be one right now, but like I said before this isn’t my plan.

This has also been a scary time for me, but the scriptures have helped me immensely.  I am not the only one who’s felt alone or have asked “why me?”  My mother keeps reminding me of D&C 121: 7-9

7My son (daughter), peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

9Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

I have the most amazing friends and family in this world, and I thank you all for being here for me in my hard time.  Life may not be what you expect it to be, or what you want it to be.  But if you have God on your side and friends and family who will stand by you, you can conquer any giant!

I testify that God is real and all things are possible through Him.

When Goliath seems to be the Only Man in Your Life…

We all know the story. 

David and Goliath, 

HUGE scary man who seems like he’ll take you out with the flick of a finger.  We hate him.  And here we are, the David’s.  Normal human beings who only wants to do GOOD for the world but before we can we have this huge smelly man to overcome and conquer.  And as a woman, he seems to be the only man in view. Huh…go figure.  Just my luck.  So what to do?  Well here are a few options I’ve come up with as I’ve pondered.  1st we can ignore the big smelly man.  Just go on with life, live it up while holding our breath.  I mean if we don’t smell him, he’s most likely not there…right? This may work for a while, but quite frankly I’d get light headed.  Then that would lead to a big headache, I’d get frustrated, and THEN, yes there’s a then, I’d get cranky.  2nd we can decide we want to overcome this sore to the eyes man.  We get up the courage to do so and we KNOCK HIM OUT! YESSS!!!  But wait a minute…what’s wrong with this scenario?  You mean he comes back after a while when he comes to?!  Gosh dang it, I was happy!  Then Mr. creep me out is back in my life?  Shoot.  And the 3rd we can destroy him.  Sound easy enough?  From what I’ve read in the scriptures David wiped him out in one try.  Could I do that?  The more I’ve thought of this I’ve come to a conclusion.  When we set out to destroy the Goliath’s in our lives it’s the process of obtaining the courage, taking the journey, and the preparation to destroy that is the key to actually overcoming that big block in our lives.  David may have overcome him in one try, but he could not have done so if he didn’t prepare  beforehand.  In order for us to overcome and conquer we need to pay the price beforehand in preparation.

So many people take the first option.  They ignore the problem, sin, sadness, or pain because it’s “easier” than going through the steps to overcome.  Same with the second option, people get up the courage to do as as little as possible to take care of it enough that it goes away for a while, but it comes back when they least expect it.  Then there are those that but their entire heart and soul into defeating  there  Goliath.  These are the people that I admire. 

In my new blog “When Goliath Seems to be the Only Man in Your Life” I am going to be taking ya’ll on the journey of healing, self discovery, and conquering darkness.  I hope in this blog to instill some hope or faith in anyone who reads it.  Afterall, this life is about making it back to our Heavenly Father and we’re all in it together!  So here’s to being single, and a huge target of Satan.  BRING IT ON you’re not gonna win!